The X Files: I want to believe - Movie No. 8

The X Files: I want to believe

Director: Chris Carter

Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson and Billy Connolly

Year: 2009

Watched: 6/1/11

What the fudge is it?

Mulder and Scully are asked back to the FBI when a paedo psychic priest (no joke!) begins to see visions relating to a kidnapping (not that kind of kid).

What I Thought...

I loved the X Files series when i was growing up it had all the creepiness of an conspiracy theory show mixed with a weird monster element. Its a good show when you can remember the individual episode names aswell as the plots. The show had a great ability to do whatever it wanted and just play it all off as X Files. You can go from Tooms to Home and both work just fine. It must have been a tough choice when making the second movie. Do we go with aliens? Monster/mutations?

Well the answer is neither.....lets go with religion! Yeah thats a good one because there is all kinds of dark shit in the bible and you can link in cults and stuff. This is gonna be great! Na fuck all that lets just get a priest who is psychic!

A priest thats psychic? Ok thats a bit weird but i though this could work......Lets make him a paedophile too! im sorry thats just stupid! out of all the stories and characters they could have used they went for:

A. Priest

B. Psychic

C. Paedo (as if the poor bastard didnt have enough going on)

The only way the character could be any more ridiculous would be if he had one eye, a lisp, crabs and bad breath!

So bad character aside we drop in on a case involving a kidnapping, the only leads to date are the visions of Fr. Touch the Boys played by Billy Connelly (swear im not making this stuff up). Scully now works at a catholic hospital (really?!?) and Mulder is hiding in a room growing his beard and decorating the place in newspaper clippings. After being approached by Xzibit (seriously) Scully recruits Mulder to work on the case.

What follows is pretty boring....after the inital thrill of seeing Mulder and Scully on screen

together and playing off eachother the story just gets dull. Billy Connelly is daft! I started laughing when he had visions causing his eyes to bleed! Proper girly giggling as i drank my tea in bed.

David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson slip back into the roles with ease. I'm so used to seeing Duchovny playing the walking hard on that is hank moody i was worried that he wouldn't be Mulder again. i thought he would be some weird combination of the two. A drunk, horny, writer with a fetish for aliens......this wasn't the case.

There are little sections that are nice. We see the usual paranoia of Mulder coming through but it is short lived. Scully wrestles with religion Vs. Science but the whole scenario in which this happens is dumb. There is a great appearance from Walter Skinner () but even with this the daft story is just too much!

Somewhere in the middle is one of the most stupid in jokes ever seen. People might see the X Files as cheap, nerdy, paranoid geeky porn and the following clip may have proved those people right. In jokes are good and the X Files always had some tongue and cheek with its conspiracy theory but this takes the piss. Dumb and Cheap like most of the film!

To top it all off after the credit there is the worst! and i mean the worst piece of extra footage! i waited for ages after iron man 2 to see a hammer in the middle of nowhere but if i had of waited for this i would probably have cried.

Overall

A TV movie at best. The plot is just stupid and lacks all the things that made the X Files so good. Fr. Touch the boys is just the worst character i've seen in the X Files. Mulder and Scully are good but even they couldn't save the movie.

2/5