The Next 3 Days
Director: Paul HaggisStarring: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks and Liam Neeson
Year: 2010
Watched: 7/1/11
What the Fudge is it?
Lara Brennan is arrested for the murder of her boss. With no evidence to prove her innocent she is locked in prison to rot like the dirty yummy mummy murderer she is. Her husband (Big Russell) is left pleading her case on the outside. After several years appealing the decision Big Russell decides to go all Michael Scofiled on the situation and break her out......without the use of tattooes
What iI thought...
Ahh big Russell I just don't know what to do with you. One minute your making romper stomper in which you are amazing then your in Robin Hood with an accent so dodgy it causes you to explode in interviews. Your fat then your thin its just hard to keep track of it and i think its taking a toll on our relationship. Robin Hood aside you can make a good film so i walked into The Next 3 Days hoping for something good.
Ahh big Russell I just don't know what to do with you. One minute your making romper stomper in which you are amazing then your in Robin Hood with an accent so dodgy it causes you to explode in interviews. Your fat then your thin its just hard to keep track of it and i think its taking a toll on our relationship. Robin Hood aside you can make a good film so i walked into The Next 3 Days hoping for something good.
The film introduces us to Big Russell and his wife having dinner with Johns (Big Rus) brother and his new girlfriend. A big argument erupts between the two ladies and the dinner ends. In the opening 10 minutes or so it is rammed down out throat how much in love Lara and John are. How do we do this? Make them act like a bunch of horny little teenagers and get them to strip each other clothes off at any opportunity. I mean if you have a kid the only way you could possible love your partner is if you act like a horny emo couple in the back row of a cinema every 10 minutes.
We hear of an argument that took place between Lara and her boss and to be honest even from the short opening of the film I thought "his wife is a bit of a dick!". There is something unlikable about this woman. She, despite the efforts of Elizabeth Banks seems cold and a bit of a bitch. I just thought to myself we should let the miserable cow rot in jail. Big Russ could run off with Olivia Wilde and live happily ever after on the grid...
With several years (or was it months) of her sentence being served we begin to see the affects of being a single father taking its toll on John. Russell Crowe is great in the film he is pretty believable as a maths teacher who is pushed to the edge. It is only when the absence of his wife begins to be too much that the film steps it up a gear.
Of course being a maths teacher he has no knowledge of how to break someone out of prison. So he consults youtube. Naaa first off he researches who would know how to break out of prison and finds Damon Pennington who is played by none other than Liam Neeson. The big irish man plays the part well as an accomplished escapee, scars accent and distant stare all the things you want from a hardened criminal. The only downfall is that the character pops in and out quicker than the afore mentioned emo teens sexual exploits.
Now the film becomes interesting with John preparing a prison escape. Cue decorating the wall of your house with maps and pictures and notes! If i was going to plan a prison escape i would do exactly the same, tattoos are so last year. John is at the end of the day an academic so everything is played out with a more educated approach. There is one very funny theme which keeps popping up. If John doesnt know how to do something he consults.....youtube! Although realistic in todays society (i once used youtube to learn how to tie a proper tie) it is a little daft. What ever happened to heading off to a darkened library and therefore leaving a book record that the cops could follow.
Overall
Meh....its ok in part but waiting for the break is a little. Big Russell is very good and so it Big Liam although he isnt in it enough. Run of the mill prison drama with a few turns here and there much like Law Abiding Spartan.
On that note i have had some terrible cinema experiences recently! If your gonna eat in the cinema keep it down. Dont fucking slop it into you like your paris hilton and its a vat of man juice. Turn off your fucking phone! even if you have it on silent why the fuck do you need to take it out of your pocket and light the whole place up? No one wants to contact you so bad that you need it on! Your watching a film ya daft shite! People should be shot! Like a little knee shot or foot just to let them know that it isnt ok to eat loudly, talk, laugh like a RE-tard, look at your phone, tweet or generally act like you have been raised by a pack of alcoholic retarded chavs!
Ok back to big russ and the search for freedom....
We hear of an argument that took place between Lara and her boss and to be honest even from the short opening of the film I thought "his wife is a bit of a dick!". There is something unlikable about this woman. She, despite the efforts of Elizabeth Banks seems cold and a bit of a bitch. I just thought to myself we should let the miserable cow rot in jail. Big Russ could run off with Olivia Wilde and live happily ever after on the grid...
With several years (or was it months) of her sentence being served we begin to see the affects of being a single father taking its toll on John. Russell Crowe is great in the film he is pretty believable as a maths teacher who is pushed to the edge. It is only when the absence of his wife begins to be too much that the film steps it up a gear.
Of course being a maths teacher he has no knowledge of how to break someone out of prison. So he consults youtube. Naaa first off he researches who would know how to break out of prison and finds Damon Pennington who is played by none other than Liam Neeson. The big irish man plays the part well as an accomplished escapee, scars accent and distant stare all the things you want from a hardened criminal. The only downfall is that the character pops in and out quicker than the afore mentioned emo teens sexual exploits.
Now the film becomes interesting with John preparing a prison escape. Cue decorating the wall of your house with maps and pictures and notes! If i was going to plan a prison escape i would do exactly the same, tattoos are so last year. John is at the end of the day an academic so everything is played out with a more educated approach. There is one very funny theme which keeps popping up. If John doesnt know how to do something he consults.....youtube! Although realistic in todays society (i once used youtube to learn how to tie a proper tie) it is a little daft. What ever happened to heading off to a darkened library and therefore leaving a book record that the cops could follow.
Overall
Meh....its ok in part but waiting for the break is a little. Big Russell is very good and so it Big Liam although he isnt in it enough. Run of the mill prison drama with a few turns here and there much like Law Abiding Spartan.
Note: Totally disgusted by the lack of Olivia Wilde who seems to be badly composited in some shots! Yes i was still recovering from my nerdfest that was tron but some bastard made me think she was going to be in it. Instead she feature in a wet fart of a storyline that barely leaves a steak mark on the boxers of the film!
2/5 (was going to be 3/5 but remembered the lack of Olivia)
Might watch it online sometime then but definately won't purchase it.
ReplyDeletewww.thefactsofvidya.co.uk